Habits Die
by ForThoseWhoLikeToMoveItMoveIt
Summary: Good habits may die but only the bad ones truly live. Major character death. Eventual Skans fic. Skilene.
1. Incoming

**Authors Note: Here's the beginning of this! The plot will start to seem clearer the further in we get! Review please!**

**~Natty**

* * *

"…remember, we're running on evasive maneuvers! If one of us is caught it's all over; Alice finds out we've escaped again and we're going to have a huge problemo- Break for the right!" the leader stopped his speaking to order suddenly and him and his whole team slid to the right to go around a sharp corner. They could hear the heavy footsteps directly on their tails. If they didn't do something else, they'd be caught for sure. "Stop-tailing maneuvers! Try to slow him down; the man's right on top of us!"

The analyst and the weapons expert gave unison affirmative nods.

The two taller penguins slid ahead of the two shortest penguins, standing up right next to some piled metal cans. The analyst and the weapons expert shoved the cans over, sending them rolling down the zoo sidewalk.

The private slid left and the leader slid left to avoid the oncoming cans, successfully evading them.

This much couldn't be said for their aggressor who was directly hit, tripping over the metal wastebaskets with an angered cry. "_PENGUINS!_" Officer X yelled after the heroes in black and white.

"I think that just made him madder, Skippah." Private pushed forward to make himself go faster in his sliding. "Maybe we shouldn't have left our habitat in the middle of the day in the first place."

"It's too late for regrets, Private. We're in the fire now and there is no looking back. And…I don't know about you three but I'm not regretting the early snow cone retrieval mission at all that much." Skipper shrugged while sliding.

Kowalski scoffed in ridicule as if the answer was obvious. How could anyone ever regret a snow cone? Such a situation was simply unheard of. "Of course not!"

"Nuh uh." Rico agreed.

Private nodded as the four slid to the left this time. "They _were _awfully nice today…"

"PENGUINS!" came the ex-officer's shout for the umpteenth time that evening. He was running after them again, albeit slower but he was still right behind them.

"There's just no stopping this guy!" Skipper exclaimed. "Kowalski, we need options and fast!"

"We've already exhausted our best options, Skipper. I'm afraid there are only the options of last resort left for our use." Kowalski said.

"Waait!" Skipper halted his belly slide, standing up to stop in the middle of the zoo path. "Just how much of a _last resort _is this last resort? Because there are many last resorts I'd rather take an _absolute_ last resort over, if you catch my drift."

Kowalski stood up in his slide but not quick enough, ramming into his leader with an 'oof'. The analyst rubbed his stomach where Skipper's elbow got him in the ribs and halted on the path as well. "If you're talking about the last resort you'd take over going to Hoboken, then no, I wasn't thinking that extreme of a last resort. And is it really smart to just stop in the middle of the crosswalk like this? We're being _chased_ for evolutionary theorist's sake!"

Private slid up from behind them, not seeing his two superiors in front of him until it was too late and he too rammed into the leader, landing back on his bum. "I think he's stopped chasing us, Skippah. I can't hear him anymore."

Skipper nodded. "Good, we have some time. Now, explain these last resorts."

Kowalski nodded back. "I meant something on the lines of finding Alice and using her as a metaphorical shield. I say metaphorical because she won't really be taking any projectiles in our place. We find Alice, and hide behind her. It's basically her job to protect us against outside forces such as animal control, or in this case…" The analyst snickered. "_X_-animal control!" Kowalski laughed at his joke.

The leader didn't look amused. "I'd smack you for making that pun if I didn't already hate the option you just gave me but I would think that that alone should be enough to shame you."

Kowalski looked down in shame, before the weapons expert rounded the corner and rammed into him from behind, sending the analyst flat on his face.

Rico stood up, dusting himself off unfazed as he waddled over to join the group.

"We aren't school girls, Kowalski! We are not defenseless! We fight things we started all the way to the end, and we don't ask for help from innocent civilians!" Skipper scolded. "Now, next option-OOF!" the leader was lifted off his feet, a tight hand closed around his chest, cutting off his air.

"Skippah!" Private gasped as Officer X appeared out of nowhere, hefting their leader up in the air.

"Now I have you! You four aren't going anywhere! Maybe to a nice uncomfortable cage down at the animal control headquarters! I'm sure you'll _X-_cel there nicely!" Officer X smirked down at the three subordinate penguins.

"Stupid…puns…" Skipper gasped out, the restricting hand squeezing his lungs harder.

"Do something, K'walski! He's hurting Skippah!" Private cried.

"I- I…I don't know what to do!" Kowalski stuttered, panicked. "He's too good!"

"RUN!" The leader surprised everyone by screaming.

Officer X turned at the loud squawk that was given by the penguin in his hand. "Oh no you don't!" The officer started shaking the leader violently. "Whenever you talk they follow your orders! And you don't have the right to not stay silent, _penguin!_"

"R-RUN, BOYS!" Skipper ordered, feeling his neck about to snap from the shaking he was receiving. He felt his neck turn against his will, leaving a burning sensation trailing down his spine. "_AGH!_"

"SKIPPAH!" Private screamed for his leader.

"Come on!" Kowalski grabbed the private's flipper and began leading himself and the two remaining teammates to safety by making them retreat via belly slide.

"We have to go back!" Private yelled as the analyst pulled him along the ground in their slide.

"No, we have to get Alice! She's the only one who can stop this!" Kowalski objected, and slid around the corner, coming out in front of their own habitat. Where was Alice? She had to be around here somewhere! The analyst looked around desperately in every direction, eyes racing. There was absolutely no sign of the underpaid zookeeper.

"Come back!" Officer X skidded into the middle of the zoo behind them, a weak Skipper in hand. "You wouldn't leave your leader behind, now would you?"

"Hey! What is all dat noise coming from outside de royal habitat?" Julien peered down from his throne, halting Maurice's fanning of him with a raise of a hand.

In the otter habitat, Marlene too could see what was going on. She spit out her drink, gasping in sudden panic. "Oh my gosh, Skipper!"

"I say, what's the commotion?" Mason stopped his paintbrush mid-stroke on the canvas in front of him. The chimp looked over at the row coming from in front of the penguin habitat. "Oh dear."

"You put Skippah down!" Private yelled at the officer, trying to sound bolder than he looked but his tears made that impossible.

"Oo dow'!" Rico used his flipper to point at the ground as if he were speaking to a disobedient dog.

"ALICE!" Kowalski shouted at the top of his lungs. Maybe if she or a human heard him squawking loud enough, someone would come to their aid. "ALICEEE! WE NEED HE- _GUGH!_"

Officer X kicked the squawking penguin into the wall with a swing of the foot.

"K'walski!" Private gasped. The small penguin saw the analyst pick his head up from the ground in shock but there was no more squawking from him. Private knew now more than ever that someone needed to do something. This was all terrible. "R-Rico…" the private looked towards the weapons expert with hopeful eyes. Since Rico was now the only one of his superiors in line for action, he had to have some sort of plan right?

"Weh en truhble." Rico said.

"Really? _That's _all you have?" Private glared in disbelief.

"Shuh uh."

"Shut up?" Private repeated incredulously. "Well why don't _you _then?"

"A-Al…" Kowalski tried to call again, the kick in his lungs took all the voice out of him. The analyst lifted his head but it fell back down like lead. "A-Alice…help…" Kowalski turned his head to look up at where his leader was. "…Sk-Skipper…" he was able to mumble over to the captured leader.

"Ugh…" Skipper groaned, feeling himself start to slip out of consciousness. The leader refused himself the right to do so and kept his eyes open. He saw the final option as it was and acted it out, using his normally hidden talons to claw at the ex-officer's palm. It work and as the man yelled out in pain, Skipper was dropped painfully to the concrete. He was free at least, if only he could find it in himself to get back up and take the guy on. He pushed himself up as much as he could from the ground, but a sudden weight at his side forced him to slump back down.

"Skippah! Are you alright?!" Private was at the leader's side in an instant, pressing his flippers up against his leader's bruised sides.

"'kipper?" Rico walked up, concerned also.

"I'm alright." Skipper nodded as he got himself up from the ground.

"You're coming back with me!" Officer X said, taking large steps towards the three penguins.

"Stand back." Skipper instructed his team, using his flipper to push the youngest penguin behind him.

"But Skippah, you're hurt!" Private exclaimed. "You can't take him on all by yourself! We'll help you!"

"You penguins think you can beat me, well not this time! I'll show them all I'm not crazy! I'll get you and your whole team!" Officer X laughed. "When I'm done turning you in, I might even come back for your friends!"

Skipper scoffed at him. "I'd like to see you try to take me down! That last time was just a lucky surprise strike but I'm all focus now! Go ahead! Come and get me!" the leader egged the officer on.

Although the officer obviously couldn't speak artic bird, X still knew a challenge when he saw one. "Alright, let's dance, leader bird! _Mano a X-o._" Officer X growled, facing the glaring penguin.

Skipper stepped forward, ready to fight the man.

Private pulled his leader back by the shoulder to stop him from doing something so dangerous. "Skippah, no!" the young penguin pleaded, not wanting to see his leader get hurt anymore. "You can't…"

Skipper shook his head. "He'll never leave us alone until this little conflict between us is resolved once and for all."

"But you're hurt, Skippah!" Private exclaimed, alarmed.

"'urt 'kipper!" Rico added in.

Private nodded in agreement to the psycho penguin. "He'll hurt you worse!"

"Awww, what's wrong?" Officer X teased. "Your little friends afraid you can't take a little pain? You better get ready for a world of it, even after I get you, animal control is known for it. Known for the pain, that is!"

Julien blinked from up in his habitat. "So are dey going to fight or what?"

"Shh!" Maurice shushed the king who crossed his arms.

Skipper and Officer X shared an intense and slowed down glaring session, each opponent with a hard look and not taking their eyes off their adversary. The two circled each other, and just as the officer was about to bring his baton down on the small penguin, something stopped them in their tracks.

"WHAT is going _on _here?!" Alice instantly recognizable pitched voice cut through the air, silencing and surprising everyone.

Kowalski sighed in relief from by the otter habitat wall. Private let his breath out all at once and latched onto his leader's side in a relieved embrace, the leader putting his arm around his youngest soldier. Rico backed away a bit because he never really liked Alice in the first place. He was glad she stepped in when she did, but Rico still found her a bit on the unlikeable side.

"Well?!" Alice exclaimed, more than mildly irritated.

"Well…you see…" Officer X fiddled with his baton in his hands until he realized how chided he looked. What was he doing? He didn't answer to this woman! He wore the badges around here, and what did she have? She had the doody on the bottom of her shoes. The officer straightened his slumped shoulders, regaining his serious composure. "M'am, those penguins are fugitives from the law. They're menaces and they're coming with me so that I can take them in, get my job back, and prove to the world that they exist." the officer affirmed with a nod.

"Uh-huh…" Alice nodded, uninterested. "And do you know what those penguins are to me?"

Officer X wasn't expecting a follow up question so he just shrugged. "What?"

"THEY'RE PART OF MY PAYCHECK!" Alice shouted in his face. "Now get lost before I call an actual cop! One with a _badge_!" the zookeeper scooped up the four small penguins and began walking away with them.

Officer X looked down solemnly at the bare spot where his badge used to be before it was taken. He lowered his head in shame and feeling depressed along with embarrassed he moped his way out of the zoo, cursing those darn penguins under his breath.


	2. Safe and Sound

**Authors Note: Finally, chapter two of this! Leave a review! The review button won't bite! ...Although Rico might, if he had some fake teeth that is. =/ **

**~Natty**

* * *

_Habits Die._

_~PoM~_

"So he's going to be okay right?" Alice pointed. "Because we can't really afford that many long term injuries on any of the animals. Kind of on a budget here."

The doctor chuckled, readjusting his rubber gloves on his hands, bring them back around the penguin's body to examine its stomach. "He should be fine, Alice. There is no visible long term damage I can see."

Alice nodded that she was following. "So what, is there any _invisible _damage we should be worried about?"

Inside one of three separate cages, the tallest penguin, Kowalski, rolled his eyes at the notion. He scoffed. _Invisible injuries_, pfft! How did this woman graduate grade school?

Beside the analyst, in the second cage was Private who took his gaze from the working doctor to Kowalski when he heard the tall penguin scoff in ridicule.

"Psst, Rico!" Private whispered to his left.

"Huh?" The penguin in question turned at his name being called. Rico turned from staring ahead to the private in the cage to his right. "Wha oo wan?"

"Why's K'walski glaring at Alice for?" asked Private.

Rico looked to his farther left, past Private's cage and to Kowalski's. The analyst was casting the zookeeper a few dirty looks. The weapons expert looked between Kowalski and the bored looking zookeeper.

Rico shrugged. "Ionno"

"Hm…" Private hummed, turning his head back to look forward again. "At least Skippah's taking the doctor visit well. I'm glad he's alright now. He has a few bumps and bruises but he's right as rain, wouldn't you say so?"

Rico nodded. "Yup."

Private laughed. "Skippah was ready to take that Officah X all by himself in his condition. It was lucky Alice came when she did. Things would have been so much worse if she hadn't of come."

"Uh huh…" The weapons expert rolled his eyes at the young soldier's rambling.

"That's what I love most about Skippah. He nevah stops trying, even when it seems impossibly hopeless, he still pulls through one way or anothah! That's our Skippah."

"Uhm, Pri'ate?" Rico got the small penguin's attention.

"Yes, Rico?"

"Shuh uhp."

"Oh…" Private said disappointed. "Alright…"

The doctor squeezed around the injured penguin's middle, earning a wince from the bird. "Mm-hm, yes, just as I've suspected. There has been a reasonable amount of pressure on the rib area but none are broken or appear to be cracked. We'll have to do a quick x-ray just to make sure. Other than that this penguin is right as rain and in perfectly functioning health."

Skipper smiled at that. Good, so he'd be back in action sooner than he thought. He didn't even have to take a break actually. He had no serious injuries, plus he liked to push himself when he was in pain as his own form of personal training to himself. The more pain he could learn to take, the more it'd help him last longer in fights or zoo overlords forbid, if he was ever tortured for some kind of information. He'd like to see anyone TRY to break him.

"Good!" Alice sighed in frustrated relief.

The doctor carried the penguin over to the cages, placing him in the second cage with the smallest penguin. He smiled as the two shared an embrace. He chose for these two to be in the same cage for that specific reason. They were the two smallest penguins and the flat headed penguin was always closest to the smallest one. He had guessed that the penguins were father and son but that was just a simple theory. Perhaps the two being in the same cage would benefit the health of the penguin patient.

However, normally each animal had its own cage. Somehow the fourth penguin cage had gone missing from the inventory, and it was the oddest thing that that was the only thing stolen from the veterinary office, that and the placed smelled vaguely like fish after the small break-in. The doctor then laughed at his coworker's outburst. "You do not seem very relieved, Alice."

"That's because I'm not! This is the fourth time this guy has barged in here and done something like this! There just is no _stopping_ this guy! He won't stay away!"

"Have you contacted the authorities?"

"That's the thing!" Alice said. "The guy is some sort of authority figure. The only time he ever backs off is when I ask where his badge is."

"The man doesn't have a badge?"

"Nope, but he wears a cop's uniform and has all the police stuff. You know, handcuff's, baton, mace and all that. But no badge! I wish he'd knock it off!"

"Have you tried asking nicely?"

Alice scoffed. "Like that would ever work!"

"You haven't tried, how do you know?"

"He targets these penguins on purpose and I don't know why! He's insane probably!"

"Hm…Well then perhaps you should call the authorities." The doctor advised, throwing out his rubber gloves in a trash bin and putting on a new pair. "Press charges for trespassing or for endangering the public, something so he won't come back and do this all again."

"You really think I should?" Alice hopped down from the counter she was sitting on. "I don't really want to cause anything I can't handle."

"Well, you've said it yourself, he is not going to stop on his own. Sometimes things require a bit of a push to help get the motion going. A domino cannot cause an effect with only one domino, correct?"

"I guess…" Alice nodded, sort of getting the metaphor. "But what about the…" The zookeeper trailed on into her doubt.

Meanwhile, Private had his flippers wrapped around his leader, nuzzling him with affection. "I'm so glad you're alright, Skippah. But please don't evah do something like that again. You scared my daylights out, you did."

"I promise, Private." Skipper lied. He'd do anything to protect the ones he cared for, even if they couldn't understand his actions.

"Oo 'kay?" Rico asked in the cage to the left of them, their cage being in the middle and Kowalski's being in the farthest cage right.

"You heard the doctor, Rico. I'm right as rain and there isn't much to it." The leader freed them from worry. He wasn't even in that much pain anyway.

"I'm glad you'll make a full recovery, Skipper." Kowalski added in respectfully.

Skipper nodded but he frowned at the analyst in doubt. "Kowalski-" he started but never got to finish because the doctor reached into the cage and pulled out Private.

"I just need to do some checking up on the other three penguins, just to make sure they weren't harmed during this event as well." The doctor informed and began checking over the smallest penguin for injuries. This repeated with the last two penguins, a check-up for each of them, thankfully no needles were used and no penguins were harmed by its unforgiving point and before they knew they were all in one cage headed back to their habitat under Alice's arm.

"Thanks again, Doc!" She called, pushing open the exit back to the zoo paths. "And I thought about what you said, and you know what? I'm pressing charges! I'd like to see that guy dare to show his face back here again!"

"You are most welcome." The doctor waved, calling after her. "And you keep an eye on those four little penguins, you hear?" He chuckled once more but this time to himself, sighing. "Those penguins, they are so very cute and cuddly…"

* * *

_~PoM~_

**Lemur Habitat/Otter Habitat/Chimp Habitat/Penguin Habitat. (All Habitats Visible)**

"So, eh, be telling me again, what exactly happened dis morning dat I was supposedly present for?" King Julien XIII asked.

Maurice groaned. "Man, you were there! You SAW what happened!"

"I saw it!" Mort proclaimed, and he pouted. "But I did not like it!"

King Julien XIII nodded. "Right…but what happened?"

"That Officer X guy came and attacked the penguins. The dude almost killed Skipper and they're all at the doctor right now." Maurice told him.

"Oh yeah, dat! I remember dat happening!" King Julien XIII recalled, but then lost it again. "Eh, nope, it is gone again…. what are we waiting for, again, Maurice?"

Maurice sighed and rolled his eyes. "Forget it, Julien."

"Oh okay den. Forgetting is easy, its da remembering part dat really knows how to stump de royal melon!"

In Marlene's habitat, she sighed as she lay down on her habitat wall. She was tired of being tired of waiting, huh, that was a new one for her. "I hope they're okay. They've been in that office for hours now. I hope their injuries aren't too serious."

To the left in the Chimp Habitat, Phil and Mason were present and in the conversation as well. It was a close community and they didn't need to be in the same habitat to talk to one another.

The zoo had been closed early due to the crazed Officer X's appearance earlier today. The guests even had to evacuate the zoo for two mandatory reasons: One for a possibly dangerous and armed trespasser and two for escape animals. In this case it being the four penguins, while they weren't dangerous animals, the zoo was mainly evacuated for Officer X and so the people wouldn't accidentally step on one of the penguins or trample them in the midst of the chaos.

Phil started signing to Mason who translated.

"Phil says that they should be fine. The only one that could possibly be the most injured is Skipper and second being Kowalski being kicked into the wall and such. The worst case could be an overnight stay in the doctor's clinic, nothing worse." Mason translated, reassuring the other animals.

"Well that's a relief." Marlene sighed. "Thanks you guys."

Mason nodded. "It is no problem at all, my dear."

King Julien XIII's eyes widened and he pointed . "OH NO! It is de freaky zookeeper lady! Be hiding everyone!" The self-proclaimed king cried and picked up Mort, hiding behind him and clenching his royal eyes shut.

"Man, we only need to do that if we're OUT of our habitats, which we're not. There's no problem, but there will be if you're hiding in your own habitat and she doesn't SEE you in your habitat." Maurice explained.

"Oh yeah, but look! De freaky zookeeper lady has brought back de silly penguins! What a bummer to what is supposed to be my un-bummery plan! I was supposed to get all de penguin's stuffity stuff after dhey went away and never came back!"

"I'll help you get the penguin's stuff, King Julien!" Mort promised.

The aye-aye lemur, the otter, the two chimps and even the self-absorbed king had a smile on, happy to see the penguin's being returned safely to their habitat.

"Alright, back to your habitat you go." Alice said, kicking the plank in place and walking across it with the cage. She placed the cage down, let out the four penguins and left with the plank whistling. Marlene took this moment to reach up to the makeshift zip line the penguins had made for her for easier access to their habitat in emergencies. She grabbed onto the clothes hangar and zip lined down into their habitat where Skipper caught her with ease by the waist. He put her down on the island.

"Hello doll-face, nice of you to drop in." Skipper greeted.

"Hi Marlene!" Private waved.

"Oh my gosh, are you guys okay? I thought you guys were seriously hurt!" Marlene exclaimed frantically, waving her arms around. "You know, I thought that Officer- X guy! You know, seriously like-"

"Marlene, Marlene, at ease. We can handle anything, you know that." Skipper shook his head.

The otter nodded, but not all that convinced. She knew what the penguins said but it pained her to say that she didn't always believe them. Everything they did was dangerous and just downright well, yeah, she's gonna go with psychotic! "Yeah, but that officer, you know, he's kinda big…and scary…and big…"

Kowalski chuckled. "Oh Marlene, Officer X is nothing short of a glorified bouncer at a country club. Underpaid and overly lame. Nothing at all we can't take care of."

Private blinked. "Is that why you were crying for Alice then?"

The analyst scowled. "I was not crying for one, and it did work didn't it? If Alice hadn't of gotten there in time, we all would have been-"

"Kowalski…" Skipper sighed.

"Options, Skipper?"

"No, not that. I just wanted to say I was truly sorry for doubting your strategies before."

"Sir-"

"No, let me finish." The leader ordered and the analyst nodded, letting his commander continue his apology. "I never should have doubted my own analyst. You've never failed me before, so why would you start now? If it wasn't for you, well, I don't think I'd be standing here right now." Skipper shrugged. "I'm sorry, Kowalski."

The analyst was too stunned for words. "Wow, ah, apology accepted, Skipper…" he watched his leader smile and he returned it. "Always..."


	3. Back Then

**Authors Note: I really want to get this story going already! How's it anyway? Sound like a good start off for a story? **

**~Natty**

* * *

_Habits Die._

_~PoM~_

"Do you think this'll be the last we'll see of Officer X then, Skippah?" Private asked.

"He'll be back, Private. They always come back." Skipper said calmly.

"I don't see how that's a good thing. Might I be missing something?"

"It's not, it never is and you're not missing anything. I guess I'm just used to my enemies coming back and having at me and whatnot." The leader shrugged.

Private frowned. "Is this about what's been happening all week then? Oh Skippah, it's not your fault. There were just too many of them at once, you couldn't possibly get every one of them. We could nevah blame you for that."

"I'm in agreement, Skipper." Kowalski said. "The odds of you accomplishing it in the first place were near impossible."

"'urt 'kipper." Rico added in.

Skipper sighed at the memory of the event they were referring to. He didn't think he'd ever be able to live it down. "Look we've all had a tough week, so why don't you boys head down for some R&R and I'll be down in a bit, 'kay?"

The three subordinate penguins looked unconvinced, mostly because they'd been a bit on the cautious side about leaving him alone ever since then. Four days ago, that common Sunday wasn't so common for the four commandos.

The leader was able to convince them anyway that he'd be fine. "I'm just going to wrap things up here topside, reassure everyone that things are alright and ease the zoo's panic. We wouldn't want another outbreak of Jungle Law on our flippers, would we? I'll be fine and Marlene's here to assist just in case of anything, maybe a random space squid attack. I know she has my back and I hers. We'll be fine. All goes well and I'll be down in ten."

"Alright," Private shrugged. "If you're sure you'll be alright."

Kowalski opened the fishbowl hatch. "We'll be down in the HQ right next to the hatch and at the ready in case of anything, Skipper."

Skipper nodded and watched the bowl be slid shut after their departure down the ladder. As soon as they were gone he let out a weary sigh of dismay. "Those poor frightened hatch-lings. What would they_ ever_ do without me?"

"What was all that about?" Marlene asked as soon as the other three penguins were gone.

"Classified." was the answer she received from the boss penguin. Skipper then added because he'd grown a soft spot for her, "And it was nothing."

"Yeah okay, but I don't really think that was nothing. That looked a lot like something! Why are they so against leaving you alone for a couple of minutes? I mean I know they're pretty much sitting ducks without you around but this is kind of pathetic, something you kind of wouldn't expect from, you know, you guys." The otter shrugged, unaware how much that statement actually struck the penguin until he responded with what was almost a dark glare.

"Hang on here, do we look like _ducks_ to you? I know we're all in the same kind of species chain with the beaks and the feathers and webbed feet and all but there is a distinction! And I REFUSE to be accused of being related to a platypus! I'm a penguin for Colonel Sanders' gravy! Not some half thought out mistake cooked up by mama nature! We're all birds, yeah sure, but a platypus, Marlene? You're calling me a _mammal_ here! Something I'm gladly _not_!"

"What? No, I wasn't calling you guys' actual ducks…Okay maybe I _was_ calling you guys actual ducks, but not…actually! I just meant that when you're not here to lead them or do whatever you do for them, they get just a little bit…" Marlene trailed off, trying to find a way to say it without causing the paranoid commando to flip out but then she realized that was near impossible, this being Skipper she was talking to here. So she just shrugged. "Helpless?"

"My team is NOT helpless! We are an elite force of highly trained-"

"They cry." Marlene interrupted. "You know, a lot. Then they wait for you to show up. It's kind of happened more than once, way more than once. Maybe twice or three times, or four…" the otter saw the penguin's outraged look. She quickly added in. "But there's nothing wrong with that! I think it's sweet! Cute and cuddly and along the lines of what you throw at the crowd every day."

"That's just a cover! We are in no way cute and defenseless! Why wasn't I told this sooner?" Skipper demanded.

"Maybe because when you get back they're just too happy to remember. I think it's great how much care you guys give to each other."

"_Caring_ isn't going to protect them or this whole zoo! Action, brute force, and not being a bunch of posh nancy-cats will! I don't care how many times I say it, it just doesn't take! I would've thought what happened four days ago Sunday made that clear to them!"

"Sunday?" Marlene questioned. "What happened then?"

"I'm not authorized _nor_ at liberty to discuss it. Come back in a few weeks after the mission files have cleared. I already know they _will be_!" Skipper grumbled. "Those pencil pushing desk monkeys wouldn't know 'need to know' if it jumped out and ambushed him while his back was turned!" The leader looked side to side just be sure the incident wouldn't repeat itself. Somehow it had made him even more paranoid than he already was, and he couldn't believe that was possible.

The otter's eyes widened. "Woah, someone attacked you? Wait yeah! I think I remember Sunday! You ran out of the zoo…" Marlene recalled.

.

.

_*faded flashback form* _

"_And…ha…and so de buffalo says…! Dats not my mama! Dats Marlene's FACE! Hahaha, yes!" King Julien XIII laughed at his own joke, grinning for an applause from his audience, in the direction of the tiki bar._

_Maurice clapped slowly with boredom and yawned, checking the watch on his wrist that was never there in any of the other episodes. _

_Mort however laughed hysterically and pointed at Marlene. "Ah ha! It's funny cuz it's your faace!" _

_Marlene rolled her eyes. "Right, very funny, but why am__** I**__ here?" _

"_Silly otter!" King Julien said. "Your name is beginning with de letter M! It is monkey madness make de funnies Monday! Which also has de M stuff!" _

_The otter raised a brow. "Okay, sure, I guess… but there's just one, tiny problem with all of that…" _

_King Julien frowned. "And dat is?" _

"_Today's…I don't know…SUNDAY!?" Marlene shouted, waving around her arms. _

"_Ohhhh!" Julien smacked his forehead with his hand as a wake-up call. "No wonder my jokes are being a little bit off today…" _

"_A little?" Marlene exclaimed. "All you're doing is making fun of us and laughing about it!"_

"_Yes, and dat part is fine. De reason de jokes aren't good is because I should have de S stuff instead of de M stuff. You know, like de Shelly oster-rich and de Savio snake guy, and de Skipper. I should be making fun of de bossy penguin's stupid face, and not de stupid otter Marlene's stupid face." The lemur king reasoned to himself. _

_Marlene groaned in annoyance; face palming before she noticed a flash of black and white. Her mood lit up instantly. She was saved at last! If she could just get Skipper to help her get away from these lemurs! "Skipper! Could you help me out here? …Skipper?" _

_Julien noticed the penguin running past his habitat as well, happy that his Super-Silly-Snickering -make the funnies-Sunday-day could go on as planned. Having one S thing was better than having no S things. "There you are bossy penguin! Come on down to de laughing hut so dat I may laugh at your insecurities! Eh…hey! Where is he going?" The lemur frowned as the leader penguin ran right past the habitat without taking any notice of them. _

_Maurice shrugged at the odd behavior from the penguin and although the penguins were already very odd to begin with, this was odder, even for them. "Maybe he has an appointment somewhere." _

"_Ah ha!" Mort laughed and pointed at the out of sight flattop penguin. "Its funny cuz he's late!"_

_Marlene blinked. "Well that was oddly strange." _

_King Julien frowned and crossed his furry arms. "Dis is great! NOW how am I going to laugh at de faults of my adoring public?" _

.

.

In present time, Marlene went on. "...and the guys were right behind you yelling. Kowalski shouting about percentages, Private about how he didn't like something, and Rico was just screaming so loud that something was going to hurt you! They were all so freaked out! And you were surprisingly _calm_, but I guess that isn't so surprising…"

.

.

_*faded flashback form*_

_Just then, the three lesser penguins ran by, huffing and puffing to catch up to their sprinting leader. _

"_Skippah wait! You can't!" Private shouted after his leader as they all ran. _

_Kowalski ran in front of the private holding his abacus as he jogged. "88.8% chance…!" The analyst huffed. "…It's a trap! …Stop! …Skipper!" _

"'_urt 'kipper!" Rico yelled as a warning. _

_The three penguins ran on after their commander long out of the zoo. The mammals were only left to stare on at the odd scene. _

_Maurice whistled. "Those penguins, man. What can I say?" The aye-aye commented and drank his smoothie down._

"_Ah ha! It's funny cuz-" Mort started again but frowned. "I don't know why it's funny." _

_King Julien smiled. "But it still is! Haha!" _

"_Yeah, it's really not!" Marlene frowned._

.

.

.

Back to real time, Marlene nodded. "Yeah, so I remember Sunday! But someone attacked you? What's that all about?"

Skipper sighed and looked down in shame. "It's a long story…" The leader looked up when his flipper was grabbed by a gentle paw.

"I have time." Marlene smiled. "I always have time for you guys."

Skipper returned the smile. "And that's all we ever need."


End file.
